A very hard week

It's been over 3 years since I last wrote my blog. Alot has happened, I'm now married! I live with my wonderful husband Josh in our dream flat (rented, but we are saving up!!) I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I've also been on so many adventures this year, Paris, Amsterdam and soon India!! But this last week has been the hardest week, I've experienced in a very long time.

I am the very proud owner of 5 guinea pigs, people call them giant hamsters but they have waaaaay more personality than people realise. If you are a guinea pig owner then you know what I'm talking about. If not, let me tell you.
They do recognise your voice and even your footsteps! They squeak and popcorn (which means they run and jump, throwing their little bodies in the air with joy) they live for many years depending on their health and lifestyles.
I had a lovely couple of guinea pigs called Pickle and Marmite, they were adorable little girls.

Pickle is the little grey pig and Marmite is the dark brown with a ginger and white stripe.

Pickle died in August 2015, it was so hard we knew she was ill but guinea pigs are classed as "exotic" pets. So most normal vets don't really know alot about guinea pigs. We took her to 2 different vets, both took our money, alot of money, but nothing saved her. I felt if we had found the right vet she may have been saved. But if I think about it too much it makes me angry and sad. 

Her cage mate Marmite went on to live a lovely life without her Pickle. She was always a very stubborn pig, she was sassy and loved her food, alot! But at the beginning of last week she really took a turn and she stopped being this young go get'em pig and started to really act her age (8/9years? Which is amazing for a pig!) She couldn't move her back legs very well, but I have special emergency care food and I syringed fed her and she perked up for a few days. But on Thursday last week she hadn't moved all day and her back legs were covered in her own mess and she just sat there in it. I knew it was time to say goodbye. But there was no time at the vets that night. I always think for such a momentum decision this should sort of be acted on right away. 

So the whole night I said goodbye and goodnight to Marmite, feeling guilty that tomorrow I was taking her to be put to sleep. It's a horrible feeling and all night I kept thinking am I doing the right thing. 

The next morning me and my husband drove her to the vets, I sobbed the whole way there and putting her into the box, she seemed so, oblivious. The vets asked so many questions, I started to cry again, do you want her ashes? That will be £150 please, what could I say? We didn't have that kind of money. I felt so bad we had to leave her there with nothing, even now I think I should have just put it on the credit card.

We left with the vets with Marmite's empty box and came home to her empty cage. I cried for a few days more and finally cleaned out her cage for the last time. But after a while I came to terms with her age and it was the right time to let her go. But no matter what age they are saying goodbye never gets any easier, they are living with you, become your daily routine, you are their whole lives. 

A few days after Marmite's passing, my dearest Courgette started to look ill. They were briefly cage mates when I rescued Courgette, she has always been a bit wild and crazy. But she loves people and let you cuddle her for ages on the sofa. 

She was diagnosed with Kidney disease a few years before. There is no cure, so you have to make them as comfortable as possible. She would drink a whole water bottle a day some times, but it never stopped her from having fun and living her life to the full.

Sadly she had become skinnier and skinnier the last few months so I took her to the vets. They advised she is on her way out and she doesn't more than maybe 2 months to live at most. She wasn't in any pain, the vet advised to come back if she was and have her put to sleep. 

So I went back home and cried some more. It had only been a few days since Marmite, I couldn't loose Courgette so soon. 

The next day I woke up and decided I was going to work from home. I don't know what came over me but I just felt like I needed to. 

As soon as I got up and checked on Courgette, I knew this was going to be her last day. I had her on my lap whilst I worked and she sat with me. She hadn't drunk or eaten anything all day. I tried to syringe feed her, but she flat out refused. I knew this was her way of telling me this is goodbye. So near the end of the day I called the vets to book her in late in the afternoon to be put to sleep.

But an hour after I had called the vets, she tried to walk from her house to the water bottle but fell flat of her face. I ran over and grabbed the water bottle and put it near her face. She flopped around the cage like a fish out of water. Banging into everything. I gently picked her up and hugged her and said it's okay you can let go. I saw her take her last few breaths as she lay on the floor on a little towel. I felt so helpless and wanted to make her pain go away. She then lay still. I held her against me and knew she was gone. 

This has been such a long terrible week, I didn't even have time to mourn Marmite and it's not even been a week since my darling Courgette has passed. I finally cleaned out her cage today, the final piece of her gone. 

I still have the wonderful Cake family who have been very supportive through the last week. 

Cake (the secret pregnant teenage mum) and her two beautiful children cupcake and cheesecake

Cake on the left, then cupcake at the front and cheesecake at the back!

This is little cheese 3 years later! She is still so tiny 😍

Cake and Cupcake

It's been a hard week, the hardest I've had to deal with in a very long time. I got a little tattoo on my arm to remind me of my little pigs and that they had wonderful lives, I look through my Google photos and find hundreds of amazing memories I shared with them. Which is why I need to do the same for the cake family, what I have been doing. Just carry on, little things keep setting me off, but this will pass with time. RIP my beautiful darling creatures ❤️